Mr. Mom

Today I put Trina on an airplane to Chicago. Her nephew is getting married this weekend and I thought it was important that she be there. At first she found every excuse in the world as to why she could not go. I refused to listen and instead purchased the plane ticket and insisted that she make the trip.

It was not that I was trying to get rid of my wife. Ok maybe that was it but that was just a small part of it. I really felt like she should be there and besides, as hard as she has been working lately I thought she needed a short vacation.

As I took her to the airport I could tell she was nervous. Since I myself am afraid of flying I thought I understood what she was feeling. I tried to minimize her fears being very empathetic to her concerns. “I’m not afraid of flying,” she said. I was confused, why then was she reluctant to go? “I’m afraid the kids might not be alive when I get home.”

What was that? She was worried that I could not care for the children? Where did that come from I asked. For the remainder of the trip to the airport she went through example after example of times when I was unable to care for myself let along any of the kids. Granted, she did have a lot of good points but I really felt like I was capable of taking care of the kids especially since the youngest one is 12.

Despite her objections I dropped her off at the airport. On the way home I recounted all of her arguments and tried to figure out how I could prevent that from happening this time. A lot of her arguments were around food and making sure the kids ate properly. This was completely unfounded. After all, I really only needed to feed them until Friday at which point the Diamondbacks would be in town and the concessionaires at Chase Field would feed them properly.

I figure all I need to do is come up with a meal plan for two days. On the way home I bought enough boxes of cereal to last until Trina got home. As I was checking out my wife’s voice kept ringing in my head, “make sure the kids eat healthy meals” While I think that Cocoa Puffs are completely healthy, I knew one of the kids would rat me out if that is all I fed them.

I decided to not take any chances and pick up food from each of the major food groups. I bought goldfish crackers since fish is a protein. I bought corn nuts, which are made from corn so technically that is a vegetable. I bought a large bag of skittles which I’m pretty sure is a fruit. All I needed was something from the dairy group, which I took care of with a large box of Milk Duds.

I can’t believe she questioned my parenting skills.