Father’s Day is always an interesting day at our house. It has evolved a lot over the years of our marriage. It began as a simple day where things just kind of flowed. When the kids were really young we usually celebrated with a handmade card and perhaps breakfast together. As we collected more kids and they got older the celebration got a little bit larger and more involved.
Trina would work with the kids to make sure to take each of them shopping and allow them to pick out something for their dad. This usually meant that I received a very eclectic series of presents ranging from stuffed animals to art supplies to colorful shirts. As the kids are now starting to get old enough to start leaving the house for school the holiday continues to evolve.
Now I usually get an e-card along with a note saying that they are poor college students and if I could please send money they would be happy to send me something (assuming I send enough money since they had things to buy too). It’s not just about the gifts though.
I am finding that the kids are starting to mature and grow into adults with their own views and thoughts. Some of their tendencies I can relate to as views are similar to mine. Others are quite original and are obviously their own based upon what life experiences they have gathered through their limited time on this planet. This is the part that I find most enjoyable; to watch as they try to make their way forging their own path through life.
Like every parent I hope that they will remember the good things that I taught them and forget the mistakes that I made while they were going up. There were many times they would present me with situations and questions that I didn’t have an answer to and wished they hadn’t asked. I did what I could to try to answer the best of my ability. Since I was learning to be a parent as they were learning to be a child my advice and decisions were not always the most consistent.
I tried to take each of their circumstances into consideration to make decisions based on what I felt was right for them at that time. I am sure they didn’t think that was fair and wondered why I would answer one way when they asked then completely reverse my position the next time I was confronted with the question. It was not that I was trying to confuse or frustrate them; it was just that my views may have changed or something may have come up that made me think that a change was warranted to give them the best possible advice I could.
I have not always been there when they thought I should. I have missed events which in their lives were probably the most important activities they have ever been a part of. I am sure they thought that I didn’t care otherwise I would have been there. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be there, it is just that sometimes you are presented with conflicting schedules and you have to choose what needs your attention the most even if it is not the thing you want to do.
At those times the kids were always in my mind and I wished with all my heart that I could always be there for them. My absence may have been disappointing but hopefully it helped them to understand that daddy won’t always be there even if he wants to be. At some point in their lives they won’t have me by their side physically but they will always have me there spiritually. For each day I have tried to provide them with some lesson in life that they can use to reach their potential. That is what I want them to remember most on Father’s Day.
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