As 1999 was coming to an end I like most others in the Information Technology industry was preparing for the impending Y2K doom that was being predicted in the media. Of course nothing happened and that was a non-event.

When the clock counted down the final seconds of the 20th century I wondered what life would be like in the next century. I envisioned life being like the Jetsons with flying cars that folded up into briefcases and we would all live in apartment complexes catered to by Rosie the Robot.

Unfortunately as I sit here now I wonder if anything really has changed at all? It feels as though life as we know it really hasn’t changed that much; or so I thought. When ABC News posted a news story naming The Top 10 Products of the Decade I was curious whether these products would be revolutionary or just an updated of version of something that has been around for ages.

Reading over the list I was shocked that many of the products listed have become a part of my everyday life. I don’t think of these things as the amazing 21st Century technology that I had been anticipating. Strangely I could not think of living a day without them they have become so much a part of my daily life.

The list of products ABC News identified as the best of the last decade are:

1. Apple iPod
2. GPS Devices
3. The Blackberry
4. Digital Camera
5. TiVo Digital Video Recorder
6. Nintendo Wii
7. USB Flash Drive
8. iPhone
9. E-Book Readers
10. Netbooks

Perhaps the first thing to note is that without exception I own or have owned every single one of these products during the past decade. I am not sure whether that means I have successfully helped select these products or if it just means I am a techno-geek that buys way too many toys. If you ask Trina she will definitely say it is the latter.

When I stood back and pondered these products I realized that without exception each of these have changed the way I live my life now versus before they were developed.

I remember when I began college in 1980. I saved up my money and made the splurge buying my first Hewlett-Packard calculator. It was the size of a brick and came with a one line LED display that was painfully difficult to read unless you were in a dark room.

This calculator was my constant companion throughout college and I truly thought I was on the cutting edge of technology. I took great care with the calculator as it cost as much as a semester of tuition.

At the end of my first year of college Sony introduced the Walkman that would allow me to take a cassette with me around campus and listen to music while I studied. It was an unheard of concept and changed the way I listened to music.

Fast-forwarding to this past decade I suddenly realized how much things have changed. My iPod now holds 36 times more than my first hard drive the Apple Profile. Now I not only can listen to my music but I am able to take my entire library of music and videos with me at all times and go days without having to recharge the battery.

I no longer wait for the local disc jockey to introduce me to new artists and music. Instead my iPod and iPhone recommend music to me based on what I have listened to in the past. Music has become files where it used to be tapes or discs.

My phone and my car can now tell me within 10 feet where I am on the planet regardless of how far away I am from my destination. It can tell me where traffic is the worst and what is the best route to get to my destination all without stopping to ask for directions.

Phones have morphed into multi-tasking devices and I communicate with voice, video, email and text all from a handheld unit that has more computing power than the combined first ten computers I owned.

My first computer had 4K of memory and I had to program it each time I booted. When Apple introduced the cassette tape storage device I was in heaven. Now I have a USB drive with no moving parts that is the size of a quarter and holds the equivalent of 12 CDs of information. I can move the data from computer to computer simply by inserting the drive into a USB port.

When the decade first began most homes in America still had a VCR, which flashed 12:00. Although it was possible to record television to tape it was a complicated process that always ended in frustration. Now with my TiVo it not only records all of my shows without me having to feed tapes to the machine but it also finds shows I might like based upon my previous viewing habits.

On those occasions when I forget to tell TiVo to record a program I can still do it even if I am not at home. I simply open an application on my iPhone and give instructions to my TiVo even if I am hundreds of miles away from home.

I have always been a book connoisseur and have literally hundreds of books around my house. Now I find myself buying less paper books instead relying on electronic books such as the Amazon Kindle to provide reading materials.

I can still flip through the pages but now I can house several books in a single form-factor. For those trips where I normally take 2-3 books to read I now pack just my e-book reader. If I run out of reading material more books are available if I can find a wireless network.

Looking back over the past ten years clearly we have made tremendous technological advances. So while I still don’t have a flying car or a robot maid my life is much easier than it ever has been in my life. I can hardly wait to see what advances are made in the next ten years.

I had expected that after struggling with the exercises and trying to grasp the concept in general that the Wii Fit would be a little understanding. Instead of giving me encouraging words though the device decided to take a “tough love” kind of approach. After failing miserably at one of the balance exercises the Wii Fit came back and asked me if I had problems walking and whether I found myself falling down a lot. Yeah thanks, that’s exactly what I needed, a smart aleck video console. If I didn’t know any better I would think my family programmed this evil device.
I might have been ok if the Wii Fit would have just left it at verbally abusing my lack of fitness. But no, it was not content to just make me fall on my face. While I was down it decided to give me a swift kick to the squishy part of my anatomy. After having completely humiliated myself by being unable to hula hoop, catch soccer balls with my head, and do some sort of human origami that the Wii Fit referred to as Yoga, the fitness board decided to put one last nail in the coffin. While I stood there it assessed my weight, body mass, and fitness level and proclaimed me as overweight. Great, that’s exactly what I wanted to hear. Oh but wait, there’s more. Based on my performance my Wii Fit age was assessed at 65 years old. So according to this video game I am an old, fat, senior citizen.
After my assessment my Mii character on the Wii was suddenly transformed into a more accurate representation of my physical self. Instead of the somewhat athletic looking Mii character I used to have, I now was presented with a chubby old looking character that waddled when he walked. Oh this is just perfect, how can this possibly get any better? My Mii character went to join those of the rest of the family. They all lined up on the screen to show a Wii family portrait. Each of my kids and my wife were identified as being under weight so their Mii characters were thin rails which augmented the fatness of my Mii. I looked a little bit like Hannibal Lecter and from the looks of it I had already eaten all the other Mii characters.
The Wii Fit then had the audacity to suggest that perhaps I should be working out substantially more than what the rest of my family were required to do. It wanted me to set fitness goals and to stop eating like a horse. It was like my mother-in-law had morphed into a video game. I provided the Wii some feedback as to what I thought if its suggestions but fortunately it doesn’t understand sign language.
Since my initial Wii Fit session I have briefly tried to get into it but each time I step onto the fitness board and hear it go, “Whoa!” I want to hurl the thing into the next room. I’ve therefore not been the model Wii Fit poster child that the company would have anticipated. I was not motivated and had no intention of taking any more abuse from this thing. If I want to get this much crap I’ll start listening to my wife; I don’t need my television for that.
Today I got an email introducing some accessories for my Wii and more specifically for my Wii Fit. Yeah, like I am going to reward that Wii Fit with new toys after all the grief it has been giving me. Still, I am always curious what new products are coming out so I decided to click on the link and see what was coming. I was presented with a write-up for what was referred to as the 5-in1 Fitness Bundle. It is a series of accessories for the Wii Fit that will make it even more enjoyable to use this wonderful device.
This was obviously written by someone who was assessed with perfect balance and a below average body fat index. No one could be that cheerful if they were just told that they resembled Jabba the Hut in spandex. The accessories included a rechargeable battery pack for the fitness board so that even if you’re fat you can be environmentally friendly. A neat little carrying case so that you can take your Wii Fit with you wherever you go since the constant nagging of this device should not be limited just to your living room. You also get a silicon covering for the fitness board to protect it from damage which I presume is done by having Shamu-sized people stepping on it. The Fitness Bundle also included a pea green fitness mat. This actually could come in handy since according to the Wii Fit I am incapable of standing up on my own without falling down so I should at least fall on a mat instead of hitting my head on the floor. The final item in the bundle is a pair of fitness socks. Yeah you read that right, the fitness bundle includes a pair of white athletic socks with a racing stripe that matches the crappy green fitness mat.
Wow, what an amazing product! How could I help but be enthusiastic about the 5-in-1 Fitness Bundle? I mean what else could a guy ask for to get him back into shape? I was sold and eagerly started looking on the screen for the “Buy It Now” button. I was all prepared to give this another chance but then I saw that this product had gotten a less than stellar review. My curiosity was piqued, what could someone possibly find wrong with such a cutting edge product? The comment stated,

I received my Wii 5-in-1 Fitness Bundle yesterday and opened it today. It does NOT come with 3 pairs of socks as it says here on Amazon.com and on the box. I only received 1 pair.

Oh no! You mean I only get one pair of athletic socks with this? This won’t do at all, I mean what if they get dirty and I need to wash them? I won’t be able to work out until after laundry is done. That will of course cause me to lose fitness level which will result in more abuse flung my way by the Wii Fit. No, I just don’t think I could deal with that. I slid my credit card back in my wallet and walked away. Thank heavens I read that review first.

We are planning on being gone for approximately 10 days. Dakota has in his suitcase 2 shirts, 1 pair of shorts, and his swimming suit. Whitney on the other hand has what looks like 14 shirts, 12 pair of pants/shorts, multiple changes of underclothes, 2 pair of pajamas, every shoe that she owns, a make-up bag, curling iron, hair dryer, hair straightened, body wash, face wash, perfume, and who knows what else. Trina stepped in and required that Dakota pack a second pair of underwear and socks otherwise the boy would have just worn what he had for 10 days. She also made him pack his toothbrush which had not even dawned on him to pack. On the other hand Dakota had packed approximately 42 DVD movies to make sure he had something to watch on the way up and the way back. He also was all over my case to be sure that the Nintendo Wii was packed into the car. So even at an early age he has his priorities set correctly. He has his Diamondbacks hat on, his Diamondbacks sweatshirt (even though it is 112 degrees at the time we were ready to leave), a small bag of clothes, and a large amount of electronics.
We got into the car and began our journey to Utah and Idaho. The plan was that we would go as far as Provo UT where we would spend a couple of days with our oldest daughter Ashley before going on to Idaho Falls ID to visit parents and grandparents. It is a 10 hour drive to Provo from Chandler so everyone was beginning to settle in for a long car ride. We had barely made it out of the Chandler city limits when I was already starting to be asked if we were there yet. Ah, the joys of car travel with children. I suggested that perhaps they should watch a movie to pass the time. Dakota informed me that they didn’t have anything to watch. I asked what happened to the 40 movies that he had picked out. He explained that they had already seen those movies. This is the kind of thing that just drives parents crazy. Rather than listen to this banter for the next 9 hours and 45 minutes I decided that perhaps I should just set up the Wii in the car and let him veg out on video games.
We pulled the car over and Trina took over driving while I moved to the back seat to get the Wii set up. I had cables and remotes and consoles strung out everywhere. I have gotten good at setting these things up and looked at this as kind of like my own personal pit row where I could connect electronics in less than 30 seconds flat. Everything was going like clockwork until I got to the Sensor Bar. I reached into the bag to retrieve it and found there was nothing there. I know I packed it; didn’t I? I tore through the bag and every other bag within arm’s length. That Sensor Bar was nowhere to be found. After a several frantic moments I came to the conclusion that I just flat out missed packing it. Now I had an unusable game console and restless kids. It was paramount that I needed to find a Sensor Bar and quickly. For the next 9 hours we must have stopped at every store between Chandler Arizona and Provo Utah looking for a Nintendo Wii Sensor Bar. It became almost a quest. Each store we went to we were met with confused looks and shrugs of shoulders. I began to think that it would be easier if I were looking for the Ark of the Covenant than for a Wii Sensor Bar. Finally in Springville Utah we came across one which I immediately purchased. Of course we were now within 15 minutes of our destination meaning we really didn’t even need the cable anymore at least not until we started for Idaho in a couple of days. Remind me again, why do we go on vacation?

I got home from the baseball game to find that not only was the Wii Fit unpackaged but it was also properly set up and configured. I asked who had accomplished such a technical feat. My youngest Dakota raised his hand. At first I thought perhaps I had underestimated Dakota and that he was some sort of technology genius. His sisters quickly chimed in that Dakota did not deserve any special accolades as the Wii Fit was so simple that “mom could put it together”. At least I didn’t say that so I could not be held accountable.
Not only had the kids set up the Wii Fit but they had also completed their first workout. Being in the midst of a baseball home stand the last thing I wanted to do was start a workout routine. I therefore declined their invitation to get started leaving that up to Trina. I’ll give Trina credit; she is willing to try anything once. They set her up and began the workout. From the other room I heard the roars of laughter followed by the screams of agony as Trina realized that she was not quite in the level of fitness that she had imagined herself in. Considering Trina is in much better shape than I am in I was not going near that thing. That of course was not in the cards. The kids had barely finished laughing at their mother when they began hounding me that it was my turn. The last thing I need is a video game to remind me of what a fat slob I have become. I bowed out of their invitation but instead just got a reprieve of 24 hours before I will be forced to face the Wii Fitness Master for my 2-week torture. I always thought that video games were supposed to be fun. This doesn’t sound like a good time at all. Whatever happened to pong? Now there was a game I could master and really how much abuse can a small white block give you when it can’t even hit a square white ball travelling in a straight line across the screen? I think I have only a few Wii hours to live.

I headed out the door and headed towards the office. There is a Target store that I drive past every day so that seemed like the logical store to stop at to pick up the item Trina had requested. For Easter we got a Wii for the kids. I say for the kids but both Trina and I have had just as much fun with it as the kids have. Getting the Wii game system was just the beginning though. I thought I had everything covered with remotes, nun chucks, Wii wheels, and a couple of games. I was sorely mistaken. This was just the beginning. Now every time we go to a store we stop by the electronics section to see what new things there are for the Wii. I’ve almost come to the conclusion that we didn’t buy a game console; we adopted another child. A child with an insatiable hunger for new technology. One who is now eating us out of house and home.
Today is a prime example. The item I was supposed to pick up for Trina was the Wii Fit that was scheduled to be released today. From what I can gather from the pre-release press clippings the Wii Fit is a combination of software coupled with a “balance board” that when used together will allow the user to get into shape using their game console. Well I just got finished trying to explain the whole Turbo Jam purchase so I figured there was no way I would get sucked into the Wii Fit craze. Obviously I was wrong. My assignment today was to pick up the Wii Fit along with the Wii Ski game that can use the “balance board” to simulate the balance necessary to ski or snow board.
I arrived at the Target parking lot about 10 minutes before the store actually opened. I pulled into a parking spot and turned off the car. I glanced over at the door and saw 4-5 people standing at the entrance waiting for the doors to be unlocked. It always amazes me when people are willing to stand outside and wait for the store to open. I can’t imagine anything outside of baseball tickets that I would be willing to wait for. I was cursing myself for the fact that I was 10 minutes early. I could have stayed home a few minutes more rather than sitting in the car. It was too late now though. I opened the door and got out of the car. As I hit the alarm on my car remote I looked up to find that the 4-5 people at the door had now swelled to a small crowd of 15-20 people. I wondered what was at Target that would bring 20 people out before the store opened. As I got to the still locked store door the crowd was now about 25. Just as I was about to ask one of those waiting if this was a normal size crowd the Target employee unlocked the door.
I’m a scuba diver and I have been in my share of surf surges but I have never experienced one quite as strong as what I did outside of Target. I was engulfed in a wave of people and propelled through the door. I can’t be positive but I think I heard the sounds of a cattle stampede coming from the crowd. I figured once everyone made it through the door they would split off going various directions to get the items they had been waiting for. I never in a million years would have guessed that this entire crowd was all there for the exact same item, the Wii Fit.
The mob turned the corner of the store and made its way towards electronics where there were two young kids with Target employee name tags standing at a counter. One look at this mooing mass of people and these young adults facial expression changed to what could best be described as the look of a deer that had just been caught in a car’s headlights. One employee leapt over the counter to safety before being trampled. The other just stood there frozen. In unison that resembled the mob looking for Frankenstein’s monster the crowd yelled “Wii Fit!” From behind the counter came a shaking finger that pointed towards the end cap. The other employee continued to stare straight ahead remaining motionless locked in fear. The mob changed direction and surged to the end cap. As they reached the display it began to be dismantled. Wii Fit boxes flew through the air with what seemed like hundreds of hands reaching and grabbing. The closest thing I could compare this to would be a scene I saw on the Discovery Channel that showed a cow falling into a river filled with piranha. It was one of the scariest things I had ever seen. Within 3 minutes the display was destroyed and all of the Wii Fit were gone. The only thing that remained was a price sign that now precariously hung by one bold swaying in the aftershocks of the crowd. The mob disbanded and made their way to other parts of the store.
I can’t explain it but somehow when I was engulfed in the crowd I was propelled towards the middle and a Wii Fit literally fell from the sky hitting me on the head and landing in my arms. So with the exception of the headache that was now growing where the box hit me, things turned out ok. I checked out and walked towards the front entrance. I looked at my watch and realized that it was only 4 minutes since the doors had opened. It was a nightmare but one that was at least short lived.

I should have known better when even my parents began talking about the Wii and how much fun they had at my brother’s house watching him and his friends try to play it. Our neighbors across the street also have a Wii and they too talk about it constantly. It was bound to happen, at some point my kids would realize that the Wii was something they just could not live without. Given that assumption I decided shortly after Christmas to keep my eye out just in case I ran across one. Of course just running across a Wii on a shelf is kind of like stumbling upon a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. But last week as Trina and I were out, a rainbow would appear. Trina wanted to go to the fabric store which is equivalent to me having to endure 4 simultaneous root canals while having a vasectomy. For whatever reason I just cannot deal with fabric so while she went to check out the latest in cotton blends I wandered down to Toys R Us to look around. As I entered the door the guy announced that they had just gotten a shipment of Wii in stock and if I just continued straight ahead I would be given one to purchase. My mom always said never look a gift Wii horse in the mouth or something to that effect so I followed the yellow brick Wii and soon was walking out the door with game console, an assortment of controllers, battery packs, game discs, and something called a nunchuk. I knew these Wii consoles were scarce but I didn’t realize you needed to arm yourself with a set of nunchuk. Like with the Harley I failed to mention to Trina that I had happened upon a Wii. No use making her worry that we would have weapons in the house after all. So when Easter morning arrived, I set the Wii out and let the kids and Trina be surprised. Surprise may be the understatement of the year. The kids were bouncing off the walls and not just because they were filled with Peeps. Strangely enough even Trina was interested in this game system. So after going through the instructions and again diving into the jungle of cables behind the stereo system and the high-definition television we had a connected Wii. I sat on the couch and watched as the kids began playing. When they got to the Wii Sports game my interest was piqued. I watched as they played tennis, golf, boxing, and bowling. When they got to the baseball game I did something I had not done in probably 30 years. I asked if I could have a turn. That was a major mistake. I ended up getting hooked and before long I realized that several hours had passed and I had played the equivalent of a seven game World Series. I completely dominated the other Mii characters (I can’t believe I actually used the word Mii in a sentence) and was on my way to becoming a professional Wii baseball player. What I didn’t anticipate though was the toll all of this would have. I wrongfully assumed that this was just a video game and therefore not much of a workout. Instead I awoke the next morning and my arm felt like it did when I used to pitch a complete game. I have not been allowed to throw much since the third reconstructive shoulder surgery yet I had probably simulated over 150 pitches. My back was stiff from swinging a simulated bat. I felt like garbage but I knew I had no choice but to suck it up and go to work. After all how would it look if I called in sick today because I had a Wii injury? I can’t believe what an idiot I am sometimes. Now where did I put that controller? I think I have just enough time to get in 3 holes of golf and 4 innings of baseball before I have to go to bed.