Like Father, Like Son

I am not exactly sure why but April Fool’s Day is a national holiday in our house. I blame Trina really. I mean she is always joking around despite how serious the occasion is.

I remember one time when she was a youngster that she stood up in church and yelled, “If there is a God, show me a sign!” then fell to the floor gyrating on the ground. The old people in the congregation freaked out. I think one of the little old ladies may have had a heart attack. It was pretty funny though. Oh wait, that might have been me that did that. It was still funny though.

read more

Hallmark Ornament – Holiday Open House

Do you ever have an idea that at the time seems completely brilliant but then after taking a step back and analyzing the idea from a distance you wonder exactly what drug you had to be on to think of something as crazy as that? For me, that is a relatively normal occurrence. I am not implying that I am some sort of drug addict just that I have the brain of a drug addict.

read more

Being a Soccer Parent

When I first heard the term “soccer mom” I had to chuckle. It was a term used during a presentation to describe a demographic of parents with children involved in extra-curricular activities. While not specifically oriented towards one gender or one type of event the term usually invokes images of a mother with a minivan taking a small village of kids to a park for practice or games.

read more

It’s Scorpion Time

When we first moved to Arizona, my wife and kids were terrified of all the creatures that they just knew were out to get them. Living in the Sonoran desert there are all kinds of wild animals that are foreign to a family coming from Idaho.

There were tales of people finding rattle snakes in their backyards, killer bees attacking people unprovoked, and scorpions whose stings were so painful that people pleaded for relief. For the first few months there was a nightly ritual where we had to check under each bed for unwanted creatures that were lurking to attack in the middle of the night.

read more

I’ve Been Cursed!

On Friday I received an email from my son Dakota’s Social Studies teacher. In this email she lamented that Dakota has been a real trial for her this school year. It seems that he is something of a class clown and has been causing problems in school. The email went on to ask Trina and I to become involved and help her try and overcome this issue.

read more

Homework and Parents

When we began having children, I felt extremely confident in at least one aspect of child rearing. Both my wife Trina and I were educated and what I would consider intellectual. We had both gone to college and had some success. While I had no idea what I was doing when it came to raising children I was pretty sure that Trina and I were smart enough to figure things out.

When the kids began going to school they would come home and occasionally need help with their homework. I did not see this as anything that I needed to worry about or prepare myself for; after all I had already been through these grades and these subjects so how hard could it really be?

read more

Mr. Mom

Today I put Trina on an airplane to Chicago. Her nephew is getting married this weekend and I thought it was important that she be there. At first she found every excuse in the world as to why she could not go. I refused to listen and instead purchased the plane ticket and insisted that she make the trip.

It was not that I was trying to get rid of my wife. Ok maybe that was it but that was just a small part of it. I really felt like she should be there and besides, as hard as she has been working lately I thought she needed a short vacation.

read more

Technologically Speaking, My Kids Are OK

My wife and I have five children. We didn’t start out wanting a big family; it just sort of happened. With the birth of each child we swore that was the last one and then sometime later we would realize that we were wrong and that we were meant to have another child in our house.

When they were all young, the house was chaotic. No matter how hard we tried to instill order it never seemed to work. After our third child was born I realized that it was hopeless to even try since the children now outnumbered the parents. Oh sure the kids will at times try to make us feel like we are in control but deep down we all know that really isn’t the case.

read more

The Last Day of Summer

It seems like every year the summer gets shorter and shorter at least as far as the kids are concerned. I seem to remember back in the dark ages when I was a kid that we didn’t actually go to school until after Labor Day. We always got out the week before Memorial Day. So I have no idea what happened. Now the school year starts for our kids on August 4. They still get out of school the later part of May but somehow we just moved the calendar up a whole month. You would think that with an entire extra month of school that we would be churning out some kind of kid super geniuses. I have been around my kids and their friends enough that I can assure you that is not the case. If anything we are raising an entire generation of idiots. Ok, that’s not exactly right, some of these kids are pretty smart. They have to be, they are dealing with parents like us.

read more