Shortly after finishing the decorating, Trina will make a batch of her wonderful hot chocolate and we will stand back and observe all of the work. It is a wonderful time that fills your heart with joy and happiness.

Like any horror movie, this is the point where the characters feel the safest only to be ripped from the shoes by some horribly monster chasing you around with a family-sized kitchen knife or a chain saw.

In my case it is a wife with a stack of Christmas cards. The cards themselves are not too bad. Trina usually has great taste and has purchased something that captures the season. Granted, there will be a “discussion” as I inquire why the cards a) are not Sedona Red and b) do not include the Arizona Diamondbacks logo but that would hardly classify as horror (according to my wife).

The appearance of the Christmas cards can mean only one thing. I will have to write the family Christmas newsletter. I am not sure how it all began. Somewhere in the distant past my wife thought it would be a great idea to provide a newsletter with the cards to let everyone know what is going on in our lives.

I vaguely remember protesting suggesting that the last thing anyone wanted was a newsletter chronicling the zany escapades of our family. While I thought I had a logical and well thought out argument; I somehow lost the argument and was tied to a computer until I completed the task.

I thought that if I made the newsletter crazy enough that Trina would gladly remove that task from my to-do list. That first year I wrote of all the insanity that had gone on in our house the past 12 months.

Much to my chagrin, the recipients did not recoil in terror. Instead we received countless comments saying how much they loved the newsletter and the humor. My plan had definitely backfired.

From that point forward I was the only one who could write the Christmas newsletter. Our card list continued to grow as the legend of the newsletter spread far and wide. It was like my worst nightmare.

This year marks the 16th year of the newsletter. We have heard from family and friends that they have saved copies from year to year. It really makes me stop and wonder exactly what kind of people are we sending this newsletter to that they would save it?

So now as the family is off gallivanting around the countryside enjoying themselves I’ll be sitting at home staring at a blank piece of paper trying to remember what has happened over the past 12 months and melding that into some kind of story.

The first Christmas after our second daughter was born I decided what we really needed was a train to go around the Christmas tree. I had always wanted a model train and this seemed to give me the perfect excuse.

The problem is, whenever I get these types of ideas I tend to take it to an extreme. Rather than settle for a small train that goes in circles on a tiny track, I somehow justify in my mind that what we really need is our own railroad with switches, crossings, and of course cars filled with Christmas gifts.

When you start thinking in that way you quickly realize that a small HO scale train just won’t do. I mean it would look puny and insignificant putting a little train around a nine foot Christmas tree.

So while we were out shopping I went to a train and hobby store looking for something that fit with my vision of what a Christmas train would look like. I came home with a trunk full of track and equipment and began laying out the railway that would become a family tradition.

I began with an LGB train set from Germany. This is an indoor/outdoor train in the “G” Scale making it quite large when compared to typical model railroads. I loved the “G” Scale as it gave the train and its cars a lot more detail.

The engine is an old wood burning steam engine patterned after the Denver and Rio Grande Railroad that graced the Rocky Mountain region in the early years of the western expansion.

Besides the engine and tender the train also came with an open boxcar and a caboose. The boxcar was a dark red color and we filled it with small wrapped gifts for the train to carry to children throughout the rail line.

That didn’t seem like quite enough having only one car so I added a second rail car. This one is an automobile carrier that would hold two automobiles. And if you are going to get a car for Christmas it better be a good one so my automobile carrier holds two brand new Mercedes Benz sedans.

Now with the train set it was a matter of setting up the track. I could have just used the circular pattern that comes with the train set but who wants a train that just goes around and around?

I added three track switches and a couple of different sidecar routes to add some variation to the train’s route. I also added a stop point to back the train off the tracks or unload cars if I felt the need.

By the time Trina came home the living room was filled with train tracks with lights and crossings. When our family came over to visit and saw the massive train display that had overtaken the house and tree they simply shook their heads.

Well everyone except my grandmother. She thought it was wonderful and the next year for Christmas she gave me an entire Christmas village that she made from yarn and plastic canvas. It was perfect and included Santa’s workshop and even a barn for the reindeer.

Through the years as we have moved I have changed the track layout slightly and compromised to only take up part of the living room. The train and the village remain an annual tradition that the family looks forward to every year.

As the gifts are placed under the tree there are soon tunnels and bridges for the train to move in and out of adding excitement and fun to our little railroad. So while Trina still wonders aloud whether we really needed such an extensive railroad no one in the family can imagine our tree not having the Christmas engine carrying the boxcar of gifts and automobiles.

In a sense we have created our own Polar Express that keeps us centered on the magic of Christmas and the memories of our childhood.

His goal was to have the best and most decorated house in the neighborhood. It was not that he had a lot of decorations, it was the meaning he put into the decorations. His decorations started to get a little out of hand and grandma would have to reel him back in.

Grandpa was responsible for decorating the outside of the house while grandma tackled the interior. The perimeter of the house was decorated with colorful lights making it very festive.

The most important part though was the decorations on top of the roof. My grandfather had purchased a plastic Santa Claus with a light bulb inside that would illuminate Santa. He also had a plastic sleigh with two elves riding inside.

In front of the sleigh was three plastic reindeer that stood in single file connected by a plastic ribbon rein. The front most reindeer was of course Rudolph and had a red light bulb for a nose. The Christmas season was officially underway when grandpa set up his decorations.

As a young child I was responsible for helping grandpa retrieve all of the decorations and checking all of the parts to make sure they were working. As I got older I graduated to actually helping carry the decorations to the roof.

As my grandparents got older, it became harder and harder for them to put up the decorations. Rather than see this tradition subside, I would go over every weekend after Thanksgiving and dutifully put up the decorations and especially Santa and the reindeer.

After my grandmother passed away I still went over and helped grandpa and made sure that his Christmas decoration tradition lived on. Finally one year after Christmas as I was taking down the decorations grandpa took me aside and told me that would be the last year for his decorations.

It was sad to think this was the last time these decorations would adorn his house. Rather than let the tradition die though, grandpa gave me all of his decorations and asked if I would please continue to put them up and to remember all of the times we spent together.

Since that day I have been the keeper of the Christmas decorations. The plastic Santa has been cracked and mended, the sleigh and the reindeer too have been repaired more times than I care to remember.

But each year the box is removed from the garage and each season Santa and his reindeer are placed upon the roof of the house signifying the beginning of another Christmas season.

Now my children are there to help me as we remove each piece and check for wear and tear making whatever fixes are necessary. We gingerly place each piece on the roof and stand at the edge of the driveway and watch as the decorations come to life.

The decorations have withstood a lot of years of use and are old and fragile. In a sense so am I. It’s not as easy as it once was to hoist them onto the roof and at some point I like my grandfather will finally decide that the years and the labor are just too much.

Hopefully my children and perhaps even my grandchildren will remember the times they helped putting Santa and his reindeer out on the roof. Then they will remember the care and the love they had making an old man happy and perhaps bringing joy to a passerby.

It is not about having the biggest Christmas display or the largest number of lights. It is about having decorations and traditions that have meaning and bring joy to those around you.

So as I light Santa there on the garage roof I fondly remember my grandfather and all the years that he brought joy and laughter to those who passed by his house with just a simple display and a lot of love.

With Thanksgiving quickly becoming a memory it is now time to turn our sights squarely onto the next holiday, which of course is Christmas. This weekend is typically when the Thanksgiving decorations come down to be replaced by the never-ending Christmas decorations.

Christmas has always held a special place in my heart. It is equal parts a religious holiday and a celebration of life. Ever since I was a kid I have looked forward to Christmas and especially for the decorations.

When we were first married we had a small tree that could have been a long lost twin of the tree Charlie Brown found forlorn on the tree lot. It was more like a stump with a branch but it was the greatest tree in the world as far as I was concerned.

That ragged tree was replaced along the way with a beautiful flocked tree that we had for years. When we moved to Arizona we found that the flocking turned an ugly shade of yellow due to the heat of the Arizona summers.

The flocked tree was replaced by an amazing nine-foot tree that stood proudly in our living room. I was never content with just a few lights insisting on wrapping each branch of the tree with the light total somewhere in the 1,500 light vicinity.

It would literally take us three weeks to fully decorate that tree. Finally it just got to be too much work and Trina gave the tree to our oldest daughter when she got married. That is still a sore spot in our marriage since my daughter gave the tree to Goodwill and we were without a tree.

After a year’s hiatus I bought a new artificial tree. This one was 9.5 feet high and came “pre-lit”. I’m not exactly sure what I thought “pre-lit” meant but it wasn’t this. The tree does have lights but I think we spend more time troubleshooting the existing lights than we did wrapping the old tree.

Every year I swear this will be the last year for this tree and that next year I will get a new tree with energy efficient LED lights. And every year after Christmas I put this tree away along with a list of things to do when I get it out next year.

It is not just the tree though. Every year Trina makes a new craft item and it becomes part of the Christmas decorations. Our house when decorated is like a museum that chronicles the evolution of crafts.

There is the nylon era followed by the hot glue era. Then there is the beading dark ages and the plush era. Everywhere you turn there is a Christmas decoration and each of them has a story to tell.

When finished, the house sings of the times we have spent as a family and the countless hours Trina and the kids volunteered to create the special decorations.

Perhaps that is why I love Christmas so much. Each year as we pull the boxes of decorations out of the garage and transform our house we are reminded of all the wonderful times that have been spent throughout our lives. Those memories are brighter than the lights of the tree and beacon us all to the wonderful times we shared together.

The Thanksgiving newspaper was plopped onto the table; it’s contents spilling in every direction. Trina brought out “the notebook” and put on her game face. The newspaper was divided and it’s contents were examined at every inch.

The advertisements were divided not by store but by opening time. Each ad was then carefully examined and notes were taken. After what seemed like several hours of close scrutiny and several pens and sheets of paper, the preliminary work was complete.

The notebook was less a shopping list and more a battle plan. It contained the logistics and coordinates to successfully navigate what is commonly referred to as “Black Friday”.

The day after Thanksgiving when stores open early and hope to lure consumers in with terms such as “door buster” and “early bird”. For many this is shopping nirvana. A day when not only are you allowed to shop but expected to buy massive amounts of products in the name of holiday gifts.

It is a day I approach with equal amounts of anticipation and dread. During our wedding vows when they mentioned the part about richer and poorer and good times and bad times, I never would have imagined that would mean the day after Thanksgiving but in reality that’s exactly what they meant.

After we were married I promised myself I would go shopping with Trina on these days after Thanksgiving. Part of it was a sense of fear not wanting my wife to go out alone in the early morning hours. Part of it was self-preservation for not wanting my checkbook to go out alone in the early morning hours.

All of this sounds great when you are sitting around a kitchen table at five in the afternoon but it is an entirely different story when the alarm goes off at three in the morning and you have to get up to go out in the cold standing there with thousands of crazed women waiting for the doors to open so you can rush some kid making minimum wage for the last toy in town.

So as I get ready to head out the door I am again wondering what exactly was I thinking when I volunteered for this? While the rest of the civilized world is lying in bed dreaming of leftover turkey and college football I will be standing outside a Target praying that when I finally get through the door I won’t be run over by a lunatic with a shopping cart looking for a Barbie.

Whitney has always been mature for her age so I wasn’t worried about getting her a phone. Still I wasn’t about to let on to her that she was going to get a phone. Instead I told her that she had to get an “A” on a particular test in order to be considered for a phone.

Whitney worked extremely hard that semester to get an “A” in that class. In the end though she received a “B” missing an “A” by just a couple of points. Given her hard work I knew I would still get her the phone but she didn’t know that.

Leading up to Christmas I kept telling her that she shouldn’t expect the phone given that she got a “B”. On Christmas morning Whitney eagerly ran downstairs hoping to find a cell phone. It was not among her presents and she was trying really hard to maintain a positive attitude despite her disappointment.

Finally there was one present left. She opened the gift and inside was a plastic phone filled with candy along with a note that stated, “Sorry this is the best you get for getting a ‘B’.” It was a mean trick and she broke down.

Before she could be too upset there was another note suggesting she look on one of the branches of the Christmas tree. There was her shiny new cell phone with a waiting text message from dad saying “You will always be an ‘A’ in my life.”

It has now been a couple of years since that time and Whitney’s contract is up on her cell phone. The rest of the family has moved from Sprint to AT&T and phones have been replaced with the iPhone.

Once again Whitney is clamoring for a new phone. This time though she too wants an iPhone. Given the events from two years ago she is refusing to have it tied to her grades this time.

I’m not sure I would be able to get away with another prank again this year. I have a sneaking suspicion I am going to be shopping for an iPhone this week and Whitney will be getting an early Christmas present.

When I began dating Trina, we were sophomores in high school. From the very first moment I dated her I knew there was something extremely special about this girl; something I wanted to spend an eternity to learn about. Ok, I should probably comment right here that marrying Trina was not the drug induced decision I was referring to above. To this day I still believe that was the best decision I have ever made; a fact that Trina constantly reminds me of every day.

Our first Christmas after we began dating I had this brilliant idea that I would get this giant stocking and fill it with all the things that I thought she would love. On the surface that seemed like a great idea. Of course filling a four foot stocking is harder than I had first imagined.

I had big stuff like a quilt that I made her (don’t laugh; I can wield a pretty mean needle and thread. Ok, that’s not necessarily true but I have a mother who is a sewing genius and I have an ability to sweet talk people into helping me with weird and unusual plans). I also included a camera, some music cassettes, a cool baseball hat, and other assorted items. I needed just one more thing to make this stocking complete.

On my way to see Trina, I stopped by the local Hallmark store. They had a display of Christmas ornaments and I decided that would be perfect in the stocking. Trina was a big fan of the Peanuts so I bought an ornament with Snoopy.

The giant stocking was a big hit and Trina and I continued to date throughout high school. Each Christmas I would buy her another Hallmark ornament to add to her collection. After college we were married. Trina thought it would be a good idea to begin a Hallmark ornament collection for me too doubling my Hallmark purchases.

When each of our children was born we added an ornament series for them. Obviously we were not alone in this tradition as the number of available Hallmark ornaments proliferated. With five children I suddenly found myself buying seven ornaments every year.

Soon Trina’s parents wanted ornaments each year so we added two more to our total. When our oldest daughter Ashley was married we thought we would stop her series letting her continue the tradition herself if she wanted. Instead she talked us into buying an ornament not only for her but for her husband Eli. I was now up to ten ornaments each year.

Before long there were other series that just seemed natural like Harley-Davidson motorcycles, cars, or baseball figures. Hallmark didn’t help either. They began to have Ornament Premiere events each July to have us start to buy ornaments earlier and earlier each year.

Then there would be the fall ornament open house in October where they would introduce even more ornaments. Now they have a Holiday Open House the first weekend in November with yet another set of special ornaments.

I now find that I have boxes and boxes of ornaments that each signify an event or date in our lives. I have a 9 ½ foot Christmas tree that is filled with Hallmark ornaments each year. It literally takes us days to put the ornaments on the tree.

What started out as a simple idea with one Snoopy diorama Christmas ball has morphed into an explosion of ornaments. There are days that I think maybe Trina is right; maybe I do need my head examined.

It all started 29 years ago. I had a new girlfriend and I was trying to impress her. Christmas was coming and I decided I would get her a really cool gift. I went out and found a Christmas stocking and began filling it. The problem was that the stocking I chose was about 4 feet tall. It wasn’t like I could put a couple of things in it and call it quits. No I was going to need some serious gifts that took up a lot of room. I gave her a really cool blanket, a jacket, some games, a bracelet, a small camera, some clothes. The stocking was getting quite full but there was just something missing. I stopped by the local Hallmark store to pick up a nice Christmas card to go with the gift. While I was there I noticed that they had a series of ornaments. They had two in particular that caught my eye. The first was an Eskimo on a piece of ice, the other was a ball with the Peanuts characters inside. Since my new girlfriend was a huge Peanuts fan I chose that ornament and put it in the stocking. The gift was a big hit and solidified our relationship (no I wasn’t buying her off, I just loved her that much). For the next couple of Christmas gifts I included the next ornament in her Peanuts series to continue what I had started that first year. That girlfriend would ultimately become my wife. We have now been married 27 years and each Christmas I have bought her a Hallmark ornament. When we got married we began a series for me as well. As we had a child we would add an ornament series for them too. When our daughter Ashley got married we added an ornament for Eli. What started out as a simple idea has blossomed into a huge deal where the family gathers around and selects their ornament for this year. Our house is filled with tiny boxes of Hallmark ornaments that chronicle each Christmas we have spent together. The saddest part of all of this is that the Peanuts ornament series I started lasted just a few short years. The other series that I passed up was called Frosty Friends and is still going on to this day. The first ornament that I could have had for less than $10 is now valued at several hundred dollars. I am such an ornament idiot.
Typically the Hallmark Ornament Premiere is a big deal at our house. We will go out early in the morning when the stores first open to pick up our ornaments. We have become regulars at several of the stores. In fact I have one Hallmark store that calls me personally to remind me of the Premiere. I am not so much interested in the ornaments but several of these stores have awesome food and treats. I always look forward to the breakfast burritos and mini fudge brownies. Many of the Hallmark stores also have drawings or giveaways. Through the years we have been fairly lucking having won something from one of the stores each year. This year we are not in Arizona for the Premiere. Instead we are vacationing in Idaho. This is completely new territory. I went into the store fully expecting to see the festive decorations I have become accustomed to at home. Instead the Idaho store was very low key offering iced tea and a mini cupcake. Where are the breakfast burritos, the fresh fruit bars, the wondrous chocolates and mints? Where are the drawings and the free giveaways? It was like a veritable ghost town in the store. Where are the crowds of insane Hallmark collections rushing the shelves to find the latest in limited edition ornaments? I had to keep checking my watch to see if I was on the right date. Yes, it is Premiere Weekend. This was so anti-climatic. I never thought I would be disappointed about a Christmas ornament sale in July.