Diet Homework?

Shortly after joining “the program”, I received my first email from my personal health coach Amy. She gave me all of her contact information so I could contact her whenever I needed. I’ve decided if I ever want to become a stalker I am going to go out and join diet web sites and get people’s information. Not only do you have access to people they are likely in better shape than you are.

At first I thought this was the standard welcome message then I realized that this email had a purpose. Attached at the bottom of the email were three documents. I had to go back and re-read the message to find out that I actually had homework!

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Welcome to the Program

I’m beginning to think that selecting a diet program is a lot like buying a new car without getting the new car smell. Now I have already readily admitted that I am an absolute novice at this diet thing and am basically relying on Trina to kind of deal with this. If you ask Trina I do that with pretty much everything not just diet programs.

One of the positive aspects of the program is that they kind of do all the heavy lifting (no pun intended; oh who am I kidding I have been waiting to use that). From what Trina has explained to me I am given five small “meals” a day then I get one home cooked meal referred to as “Lean and Green”.

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Taking the First Step

Now that I’ve decided to lose weight, well more accurately now that my wife and my liver have decided I needed to lose weight the question becomes how? Trina was of course all over this. It’s amazing how helpful people can be suggesting how someone else can lose weight.

A quick tour of the bookstore showed that the number of titles around weight loss were taller and weighed more than I did. This was obviously not going to be as simple as getting a book, eating some celery, and exercising more than walking from the couch to the refrigerator.

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A New Year a New Me?

I have mixed emotions about the end of 2011 and the beginning of 2012. On the one hand I am going to miss several of the wonderful experiences that I had this past year. Looking back our family has definitely been blessed with more than we ever deserved.

Several of the highlights of the past 12 months have something to do with baseball and in particular the Arizona Diamondbacks, which is to be expected if you know me at all. Rather than recount everything that happened last year I have written it in our Family Newsletter that normally goes out with our Christmas cards which were somehow lost (I’m still claiming they are either in the pantry that needs to be cleaned or aliens abducted them and are now probing the cards for some scientific experiment).

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New Year’s Resolutions

I am fascinated with the whole New Year’s holiday. For the life of me I cannot understand why we have decided to celebrate having to go out and buy a new calendar. I know there are other holidays that are just as confusing.

I never have understood how a furry rodent suffering from Sciophobia (a fear of shadows) was able to score not only a cool holiday like Groundhog Day but also a classic movie. And don’t even get me started on Columbus Day where we celebrate men who get lost and don’t stop and ask for directions. Seriously, who comes up with these?

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Making a List, Checking It Twice

I will freely admit, my wife Trina and I are list-aholics. It seems like each of us has a list for just about everything. There is a Christmas list that we follow religiously. There is the inescapable honey-do list that Trina has for me each baseball off-season. There is even a list for us to get paper and pens to make more lists.

There is not one aspect of our lives that there doesn’t seem to be a list somewhere. The problem is, we make these lists then for one reason or another the list gets misplaced. I think the lost lists are just a coincidence but Trina believes in some list conspiracy theory.

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Halloween Memories

I have never been one who was overly excited about Halloween. Horror movies never were a big thing for me and I absolutely hate sitting at home waiting for the doorbell to ring so that I can hand out candy. Still, looking back over my life I have to admit I have a lot of memories surrounding Halloween.

As a child I lived in what I now think of as rural Idaho. At the time I thought I lived in the big city but your perspective changes as you get older and you realize that the town you grew up in could fit inside Chase Field in Phoenix and it would not even be a sell-out crowd.

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Me and Columbus

According to my calendar, today is Columbus Day. As I have written previously, I have an issue with Columbus Day in general. I just do not get why Columbus gets his own holiday. I know he supposedly discovered the new world but I still have a problem with that given that there was a Native American welcoming party when he arrived. As near as I can tell, if you discover something you probably should be the first guy there otherwise it defeats the whole discovery concept.

But hey, you have to give Columbus credit, even though he got here late to the party he had the right propaganda machine in place to take credit for something he didn’t really do and was able to cover up the whole fact that he was actually just lost.

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Banana Bread Racism

Every once in a while I end up in a conversation with my wife Trina that is completely random leaves both of us scratching our heads wondering how in the world we got to this point. Let me preface this with a few useless facts. For the past couple of days I have not been feeling well fighting a stomach virus that has been going around lately.

I’ll be the first to admit that when I am sick I am one of the biggest babies in the world. It’s weird, I can play a baseball double header with a broken arm or throw an entire season with a torn rotator cuff and not think anything of it but if I get sick, I turn into some kind of sniveling pile of dirty laundry that just wants to lay in a corner in the fetal position.

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