When Did That Happen? – Diet Day 53

I have to admit, I had no idea what to expect before I started this diet. I had heard and read all the horror stories where people were deprived of food and then went crazy like a Charles Manson follower when they did not lose the weight that they had expected. I half wondered whether I would end up like Jack Nicholson in the Shining tearing through locked doors in search of an Oreo cookie or something.

Instead, I find myself more intrigued in what this diet is actually doing. I feel as though I am just along for the ride. All I have to do is eat five small portion-controlled meals consisting of some sort of powder mixed with water then nuked until a chemical reaction occurs. In exchange for that weight falls off of me from some unknown place.

To be honest I have no idea where the weight is going. I honestly didn’t see any changes for the longest time. People around me likewise either didn’t notice or were too polite to say anything. That of course is a double-edged sword. On the one hand you want everyone to recognize the changes but on the other hand they didn’t ever say, “oh my gosh you’re turning into a blimp!” when I gained the weight so why would they say anything when I lost it.

Oh sure there have been some not so subtle changes such as going through all the holes in my belt in the first three weeks and needing to buy a new one but other than that I was wearing the same clothes I always did.

Trina suggested that perhaps I should go get some new clothes anyways. After all, most of my wardrobe was several years old and not exactly stylish when it was new let alone now. Reluctantly I agreed and we headed to the store.

I needed a new pair of jeans anyways and if this meant I would not have to go clothes shopping again for another decade I could suffer through a few minutes of misery. I grabbed a pair of jeans with my usual size and headed to the dressing room. While I was there Trina would wander around the store like some crazed shopping cart homeless lady collecting items that would then be thrown into my dressing room in most cases landing on my head.

What was shocking was that the pants I had selected didn’t fit; they were TOO LARGE! Trina went back to the rack and grabbed the next size down and they too were too big. Suddenly I was beginning to feel like Goldilocks trying to find something that fit just right.

After several iterations including some kind of nightmare when Trina brought me a pair of “skinny jeans” that turned me into what I have to believe Justin Bieber will look like when he turns 50. In the end I found a pair of jeans that were two inches smaller in the waist than I had been wearing.

That’s a huge deal. The last time I wore this size jeans was when I was in high school. The difference is that no one in the store was wearing polyester Angel Flight pants sporting a gigantic afro. There was a guy in a polyester leisure suit but I think he was lost on his way to the retirement home.

I was feeling pretty good about the new jeans size but then Trina suggested I should get a new polo shirt to go with it. Before the diet I was comfortably wearing an XL T-shirt. Today I was trying on not a large but a medium shirt. Seriously I am wearing the same size as my son who is 14. I would not have believed it if I had not seen it myself.

Suddenly all the sacrifice and work I had been putting into this program all seemed worth it. While I missed the Hostess HoHo’s and Lucky Charms I would gladly trade that for how good I feel. This is a very good day.

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