It’s Here, It’s Here!

According to the UPS web site, my diet food is to arrive today. If that happens then tomorrow will be the official beginning of my weight loss journey. I am approaching this with equal parts excitement and fear. What if the program doesn’t work for me? What if I absolutely hate the food and the regimen? What if my order gets mixed up with some kind of government funded science experiment and instead of losing weight I become a mutant who can shoot laser beams out his eyes and fly? Ok, that last one would be pretty cool except for the fact that I would need to get a cape and wear a suit of spandex, which would not look cool unless I lost some weight.

As of late afternoon I still had not seen the package and I wondered if there was some overweight delivery driver that had absconded with my order and was at this moment enjoying a nutritional shake high in protein and facilitating weight loss while tasting good.

After going to watch my son’s soccer game I returned home to find a box sitting on our front steps. A glance at the return address showed it was indeed the food for my weight loss program. Looking over the box I was surprised how small it was. I guess I expected to see a semi pull up to my house to deliver a month’s worth of food. Instead it came in an 18-pound container that was smaller than a Little Tike’s kitchen set.

Trina and I still need to go out shopping for the fresh ingredients for my daily “Lean and Green” meal but otherwise it looks like I am ready to go. I guess this makes today my last no-holds-barred-eat-whatever-you-want-and-thumb-your-nose-to-the-world day. It’s the last time I’ll be unregulated.

I feel like the condemned man who is ready for his last meal. If you were going to go on an eating program where you only have limited choices for the next few months until you can get to your optimum weight, what would your last meal be before beginning the journey?

On the one hand I really have been trying to eat healthy the past couple of weeks to get my body prepared but this is the last meal and I sure didn’t want to waste it on a couple of celery sticks and a low-fat low-taste salad. No, if I’m going out, I’m going out big.

I loaded Trina in the car and went to Pei Wei where we had chicken lettuce wraps, Vietnamese spring rolls, lemongrass salad (my one healthy choice), and Mongolian Beef with brown rice (ok my other healthy choice was the rice). To top it off I had a fortune cookie. My fortune read, “You are about to begin a long and rewarding journey that will bring happiness – in bed”. Ok, I added the last two words, which got me smacked by Trina.


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