Watered Down Weight Loss

Now that I know the exact date when the UPS guy is going to drop the F-bomb at my house (food bomb) I can start to get prepared for the official beginning of my new diet. I have exactly two more days to live.

Part of me feels a little like the death-row inmate whose cell is exactly outside the room where they are testing the electric chair. Even though you know that the lights flickering are just them testing to make sure they’ll kill you when they throw the switch you secretly hope that the governor will call and give you a last second reprieve.

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