The Christmas Newsletter

The holiday season is filled with all kinds of activities. There is of course the outside decorations, the Christmas tree, and of course the Nativity display. Each of these build towards the magic of the season.

Shortly after finishing the decorating, Trina will make a batch of her wonderful hot chocolate and we will stand back and observe all of the work. It is a wonderful time that fills your heart with joy and happiness.

Like any horror movie, this is the point where the characters feel the safest only to be ripped from the shoes by some horribly monster chasing you around with a family-sized kitchen knife or a chain saw.

In my case it is a wife with a stack of Christmas cards. The cards themselves are not too bad. Trina usually has great taste and has purchased something that captures the season. Granted, there will be a “discussion” as I inquire why the cards a) are not Sedona Red and b) do not include the Arizona Diamondbacks logo but that would hardly classify as horror (according to my wife).

The appearance of the Christmas cards can mean only one thing. I will have to write the family Christmas newsletter. I am not sure how it all began. Somewhere in the distant past my wife thought it would be a great idea to provide a newsletter with the cards to let everyone know what is going on in our lives.

I vaguely remember protesting suggesting that the last thing anyone wanted was a newsletter chronicling the zany escapades of our family. While I thought I had a logical and well thought out argument; I somehow lost the argument and was tied to a computer until I completed the task.

I thought that if I made the newsletter crazy enough that Trina would gladly remove that task from my to-do list. That first year I wrote of all the insanity that had gone on in our house the past 12 months.

Much to my chagrin, the recipients did not recoil in terror. Instead we received countless comments saying how much they loved the newsletter and the humor. My plan had definitely backfired.

From that point forward I was the only one who could write the Christmas newsletter. Our card list continued to grow as the legend of the newsletter spread far and wide. It was like my worst nightmare.

This year marks the 16th year of the newsletter. We have heard from family and friends that they have saved copies from year to year. It really makes me stop and wonder exactly what kind of people are we sending this newsletter to that they would save it?

So now as the family is off gallivanting around the countryside enjoying themselves I’ll be sitting at home staring at a blank piece of paper trying to remember what has happened over the past 12 months and melding that into some kind of story.

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