It’s Just Not Right

I remember when I was a young boy. After enduring yet another Mother’s Day where I had to make plaster of Paris molds of my hands and a Father’s Day where I made a tie out of finger painting material I went to my mother to ask when it was “Kid’s Day”.

In typical fashion my mother explained that “every day is Kid’s Day”. At first I thought that was pretty cool. We can devote one day to mothers and one day to fathers and then the kids get 363 days.

I began making my gift wish list for all of the upcoming Kid’s Days. I presented the list to my mother who gave me a stern look then explained that while it may be Kid’s Day that did not mean that there were presents involved.

What kind of fascist dictatorship are we living in where kids are required to give presents to mothers and fathers on their respective days yet we as children were not allowed to ask for anything on our own special day?

As I got older this injustice continued to bother me. It really got under my skin when I heard that the government in cahoots with the Hallmark Corporation was now trying to institute Grandparents Day.

Honestly isn’t that double-dipping? Fathers become grandfathers and mothers become grandmothers so now we had multiple generations giving presents to the same people while the kids continue to get ignored.

My tone changed slightly when I became a father and I eagerly awaited one of my kids coming to me to ask about Kid’s Day so that I could pass my incredulous insight to the next generation.

What really got my blood boiling was when I looked at the calendar today and realized that the mothers of the world are now trying a triple dip to the gift giving. Right there at the bottom of today’s square read, “Labor Day”.

I mean come on! Now we are supposed to give gifts to the women even before the kids are born? I understand that labor is hard and quite painful (a fact that is explained to me by my wife every single day she has to deal with the children). But really is that any reason why we should be forced to buy more presents and get more Hallmark cards?

I don’t mean to trivialize the pain and suffering women go through to bring a baby into this world but do you really think men and children want to go through a holiday listening to their wives and mothers explaining how painful and long their labor was?

What’s next conception day? This really has to stop. Not only are we creating completely fabricated holidays but with each one we are taking away another Kid’s Day and that’s just not right.

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