Change

I’ll be the first to admit that I have a rather unique home life. I am not exactly sure how that occurred; it just seemed to work out that way. When Trina and I were dating we talked about what it would be like if we ever got married. I kind of always imagined we would get married, live in a house with a window garden and a white picket fence, and we would raise 2.5 children and have 1.4 dogs.

I figured I would let Trina take the lead raising the 2.0 children and I would focus my efforts on the 0.5 child and if I had time left over I would try and train the 0.4 dog. Looking back, that kind of thinking should have been a clear indication that our marriage would be different.

Trina and I ended up getting married, an event I am still quite sure she fully understands. If she did have an understanding there is absolutely no way she would have said, “I Do”. This is probably the one time in her life she regrets not listening to her mother.

To say our married life has been unusual probably would be an understatement. No matter how things are going the one constant throughout our marriage has been change. I used to tell Trina that if there were two days where we did something the same way that probably meant that we did something wrong.

The changes don’t necessarily have to be huge productions; they can be small and seemingly meaningless. The point is that it has to be different. Trina has commented on more than one occasion that she believes I have “shark tendencies”. I am not exactly sure what she means by that and honestly I have never dared ask her about it. I’m hoping she meant that I have to be in constant motion or I feel like I am dying. For all I know she meant my teeth are pointed and I am a hazard to swimmers.

Things didn’t quite work out the way we had planned. Instead of 2.5 children we somehow ended up with five kids and the 1.4 dogs ended up being closer to 3.2 dogs. I may be exaggerating; maybe we only have four kids. Nope, I counted there are five.

The part about constant change has remained, well constant. Each night I am reminded of that fact most of the time by Trina or one of the kids who are complaining how things are again different and they can’t seem to manage to the change.

Sometimes the changes are good like when I come home and announce to Trina that I have enrolled us in scuba diving lessons (a skill every married couple should have right?) Other times the changes are not so good like the time I changed all the labels on Trina’s spice bottles but failed to change the contents of the bottles. I don’t remember why I thought that would be a good idea but I’m sure I had an awesome reason for doing that.

At first the family was a little freaked out at how things morphed every day around our house but it has finally sort of sunk in that this is not just another phase dad is going through. Now they listen to the change of the day and then shrug and move on with their lives.

The kids are now getting older and moving away to college or getting married. It will be interesting to see whether this changing lifestyle continues in their own families or if they suddenly feel freed from dad’s insanity and can introduce structure into their lives.

That’s ok, some day they will all have children of their own and it has been my experience that grandpas are supposed to be a little crazy. Maybe my whole life has been a precursor to my role as grandparent so I can screw up an entirely new generation.


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