We’ve Suffered a Great Loss

Throughout my married life I am constantly reminded that I am probably clinically insane and that my wife Trina should be considered for some sort of sainthood. This has always bothered me. Not that I don’t think my wife should be canonized but I think I get overlooked in her candidacy. After all, if she didn’t have to deal with me on a daily basis she would never even be considered as a saint. Usually I just smile and nod like a bobble head doll. Every once in a while though I have to step forward and show that I am not the only crazy one in our relationship. Take today for example, I received an email from Trina with the following.

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

I am both saddened by this news and at the same time very proud of my wife. I think she has definitely the first step towards the dark side. Soon we shall rule the universe with our own brand of humor and craziness. By the way to Mrs. Dough, I am very sorry about your loss; that really bites.

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